We've Got Our Miracle!

Well, today was test day, and since I had no reason not to, I took the test. I was seriously expecting a negative, so you can imagine my reaction when a faint pink line showed up to indicate pregnancy. I ran upstairs, woke up my mom, and asked how many lines she saw. There was definitely two, so I'm pregnant! I have a doctor's visit when I get home next week, and I took a second test this afternoon, which also came up positive. I am so excited, I can hardly sit still. Jeff is going to be a daddy, and I am going to be a mommy!! Thank you, Jesus!

Cramps

Well, I have the dreaded cramps now, so it is safe to say that this cycle did not work. My period is due today and I always get cramps the day before, which I did. I am not too upset. I felt from the beginning that this was not going to work, but I had to try so that I don't spend my life thinking, "What if?" It certainly helps that I am surrounded by family and friends and my wonderful husband, and surprisingly enough, the fact that my sister is getting ready to have a baby helps, too. I wish it was me, but if it can't be me, at least it is someone whom I love very much, and now I can be a part of things.

I thought about disbanding this blog since there will be no baby, but I like it, so I think I'll just keep it. We can discuss school and work and the new puppy that I think I should get since I'm not getting a baby!

Fargo

I am in Fargo now, with my crazy, wonderful family. We are having lots of fun, and I wish we lived closer. I keep showing Jeff nice houses online that we could buy, but he is not cooperating! I survived the first week of the 2ww nicely, and have less than a week to go. My cousin Joanna is in from Alaska so I'll get to see her for the first time in several years this weekend, and my awesome friend Mary drove down from Grand Forks to take me shopping today. She has the cutest little girl who was so much fun today. I've never heard a year-and-a-half year old with manners, but Gracie was all "Please" and "Thank you!" I hope I am as good a mother as Mary when we have kids.

I've been thinking a lot about adoption, and the more I think about it, the more I like it. I will still be disappointed if we are not pregnant, but I feel good about our options. I'd love to get pregnant and then adopt later, too.

Progesterone

I'm not going to count the days this month, as that just makes the 2ww even longer. I'm also not going to try and figure out whether or not I feel differently, as the hormones make me feel things that may have nothing to do with a pregnancy. In addition to this, I'm lucky enough to be spending the majority of the 2ww in Fargo with my family, and they are sure to create lots of distractions for me, so these things should all make this much easier than it was last month. I leave on Saturday, and I return here on the 19th. My testing day is July 14th, which is actually nice because my period is due July 10th. Last month, my testing day was two days before my period which just led to all kinds of false hopes, and though I didn't write about it, I tested three separate times in the hopes that I had tested too early.

I got my progesterone from the pharmacy today, thus officially ending the costs of fertility treatments. The insurance paid for it this time, so it must be used for other things than just fertility. I will take one pill a day for 10 days, as a just-in-caser, as my Nana would have said. So, stay tuned for the news from the Great Flatlands!

Cost of Progesterone: $15

El Fin

I had the insemination done yesterday, and Jeff was nice enough to take the day off and come with me. The only part of it that really hurt was when I had to hold my hips in a certain position, because that aggravated the bursitis. Other than that, I had a lot of cramping when I got home, but I feel better today.

Jeff and I have decided definitively that this will be our last course of treatment. I really needed to try this so that I didn't have to play the "what if" game for the rest of my life, but now that we have given treatments a real try, I am ready to move on. It is so expensive, for one thing, but even more than that, it is very hard on me physically and emotionally. If we do not get pregnant - and if I'm being honest, I really don't think we will - then I am going to finish my degree, get a teaching position, and we will buy a house. After that, adoption may be in our future. For now though, we just have to wait and see. It is a relief to have the treatments behind me, and that is the part on which I am trying to focus.

Cost of Insemination: $260

One Egg

At the doctor's appointment today, we found that we only have one mature egg. I was a little frustrated, but the doctor said that to have just one is very common unless I had taken 3 shots a day, and not to worry. The egg we had last time only measured 18 mm, and this one was 22 mm, so that's a big plus. Also, for the first time ever, my lining is right where it should be. I will still take the progesterone suppositories (ugh), but it is more as as insurance policy than because my body isn't doing what it needs to do.

Jeff is going to give me the Ovidrel shot tonight at 9:00 to induce my ovulation, and then we go in on Monday at 12:30 to do the insemination. After that, it is the dreaded 2ww . . . again.

Sonogram: $100

New Look and Side Effects

I was a little tired of the same old look for this blog, so here is the new template. I have also changed the title to "Hoping for a Miracle", as that seemed more appropriate. I hope you like it!

I've been having some weird side effects lately, which I'm sure are from the new round of shots. Even though they are the same thing as the ones I has before, they are from Europe, so maybe they're mixed a little differently. In any case, I feel weird! I am tired all the time but I find it nearly impossible to sleep, and I keep getting little aches and pains around the injection site and in my stomach. None of these things are too awful, but the exhaustion is making it hard to get any school work done when all I want to do is curl up with the dog and take a nap!